My Upside Down Smile

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Idocracy: A-Hole

This is about the most important A-Hole in the world, or for that matter, all time. Nope, not talking about the Old-New Guy, rather referring to my A-HOLE. So, I scheduled this to go out at 1 pm because my Colonoscopy is at 1:15. So, why get a colonoscopy? Colon Cancer is 2nd leading cause of death in men and women combined. So, I have been getting one every ten years since 2005, so it’s number 5 right now.

I thought the last one would be it, but they found a thing called polyps. None were cancerous, but it meant I have to do it again today, about the time you received my newsletter. Knowing your family history of it, and having a Colonoscopy is the best way to prevent colon cancer. I am at a tipping point of getting a Colonoscopy. If there are no polyps today, then this will be my last time getting the camera shoved up my ass. If not, I’ll do it again in 10 or maybe 5 years.

As for the procedure, you are knocked out as the camera goes up your tushy hole, taking pictures and samples. It is quite painless because you are out like a light.

The actual issue is that an ounce of prevention is worth a pound of cure. So, I do it before things get out of hand in my colon, or tushie.

Once I was on the table during the procedure, and I was sleeping from the anesthesia, and I heard the technicians arguing about what was the best place to eat in Provincetown. I thought the places they were talking about were okay. So, from my slumber, I offered my opinion. The techs looked at each other and said ‘Oh, shit. He needs to be out!’ In less than a minute, I was gliding up through Cape Cod, heading into Provincetown to eat. I needed to decide where and what I was hungry for. I had been fasting since the day before.

That was a rare incident. For the most part, I was in a dreamlike state during my procedures. I think this is number 4 or 5 that I am working on right now, as James’ Newsletter is on your screen. I do this pain in the ass thing to prevent a painful death that will hurt the ones I love more than myself.

Well, from the land of OZ, enjoy your day! I should be waking up soon!